Queasy

My old habits are kicking back in. I need to let out. Soon.

Until then.
xx

Punished

She searches all around her; that sense of feeling. Thinking, hoping, wishing, she walks on the path of the unknown. What will she find? She doesn't know. All she knows is that if she doesn't find it, her fear will come true. Numb.  It's an escape she tries to seek, an exit that she must find. Her feet lead her astray, she doesn't notice or feel the blisters on her soles. The sun beats down on her but she feels neither hot nor cold. She doesn't feel. So numb. She picks up a nearby sharp rock and cuts herself, to see if she could hurt. The blood trickles slowly from her wrist and form a small pool just near her blistered toes. Still, she feels so numb. No emotion can seep through her, no nerve within her body and soul has been touched. Her heart pulls within her, it knows she must feel and so gives her the gift of hate. She hates it. She hates what it's done to her. Hate contaminates her to her very inner core. She refuses this gift. Using the rock, she claws at her heart. She hates the rock, hates it's inefficiency. She hates herself, she is such a failure. She looks at her blisters and hates the very ground she treads on. She starts clawing at the ground, her nails dirtied by the soil, little cuts upon her fingers. Physically unable to stand any more self inflicted wounds, she lies down and watches the pool of blood beside her expand. Before she dies, she is granted the gift of curiosity.

'How can one emotion cause so much damage?'

Until next time.
xx

Obituary

If I die young,

Bury me in satin,

Lay me down on a bed of roses.

Send me on a lake, at dawn.

Send me away with the words of a love song.

         Until then. xx

Natural Instincts

We all crave for something during our lives. Whether it's power, knowledge or even love, we unconsciously search for it throughout our every waking moment. It is only when a significant incident occurs that opens our eyes to the real world. It is only when we realise we are about to lose something, that we acknowledge what we actually have. I've been trying my best to learn, to accomplish some sort of lesson, but it's so complicated, I end up being more confused than how I started. I try to always stand tall, to always lift my chin up and to always smile, but it just takes so much effort. So many people underestimate what they have. So many people don't realise how blessed they are, how gifted and how talented they can be. The show offs we notice, are we wrong to judge them? They have understood how valuable the things they possess are. Is it wrong to show it off to the world? We claim to be optimists, but I think the only lesson I've learnt is that we live in a double standard world. A world where it is okay to keep craving, as long as you do it with a smile. Real or fake? It's completely up to you. Until next time. xx