Queasy

My old habits are kicking back in. I need to let out. Soon.

Until then.
xx

Punished

She searches all around her; that sense of feeling. Thinking, hoping, wishing, she walks on the path of the unknown. What will she find? She doesn't know. All she knows is that if she doesn't find it, her fear will come true. Numb.  It's an escape she tries to seek, an exit that she must find. Her feet lead her astray, she doesn't notice or feel the blisters on her soles. The sun beats down on her but she feels neither hot nor cold. She doesn't feel. So numb. She picks up a nearby sharp rock and cuts herself, to see if she could hurt. The blood trickles slowly from her wrist and form a small pool just near her blistered toes. Still, she feels so numb. No emotion can seep through her, no nerve within her body and soul has been touched. Her heart pulls within her, it knows she must feel and so gives her the gift of hate. She hates it. She hates what it's done to her. Hate contaminates her to her very inner core. She refuses this gift. Using the rock, she claws at her heart. She hates the rock, hates it's inefficiency. She hates herself, she is such a failure. She looks at her blisters and hates the very ground she treads on. She starts clawing at the ground, her nails dirtied by the soil, little cuts upon her fingers. Physically unable to stand any more self inflicted wounds, she lies down and watches the pool of blood beside her expand. Before she dies, she is granted the gift of curiosity.

'How can one emotion cause so much damage?'

Until next time.
xx

Obituary

If I die young,

Bury me in satin,

Lay me down on a bed of roses.

Send me on a lake, at dawn.

Send me away with the words of a love song.

         Until then. xx

Natural Instincts

We all crave for something during our lives. Whether it's power, knowledge or even love, we unconsciously search for it throughout our every waking moment. It is only when a significant incident occurs that opens our eyes to the real world. It is only when we realise we are about to lose something, that we acknowledge what we actually have. I've been trying my best to learn, to accomplish some sort of lesson, but it's so complicated, I end up being more confused than how I started. I try to always stand tall, to always lift my chin up and to always smile, but it just takes so much effort. So many people underestimate what they have. So many people don't realise how blessed they are, how gifted and how talented they can be. The show offs we notice, are we wrong to judge them? They have understood how valuable the things they possess are. Is it wrong to show it off to the world? We claim to be optimists, but I think the only lesson I've learnt is that we live in a double standard world. A world where it is okay to keep craving, as long as you do it with a smile. Real or fake? It's completely up to you. Until next time. xx

Message Received

How do you make an entrance? It should always start with a bang. Leaving that impression, leaving your invisible footprint in that person's mind will significantly mould your future's path. Whether it's love at first sight or hate at first sight, who cares? The first impression is always the most accurate way of judging a person's limits. What do I mean you ask? Have a try, then come back to me with that question again. After all, the best way of learning is through the process of implementing; is it not? Until then. xx

Lyrics of a Madman

scatter senseless in the streets with such simplicity and certainty.
sighing sadly through the seas drowning in its sorrow.
silly sentiments secluded in the sun's way.
searing stabs and pains that align themselves inside sickening minds.


Until next time.
xx

Knowledge

A sense of learning and that tingling feeling of a new beginning makes the world that much more worth being in. So, bring out the sunshine and never lose hope :)

Until then.
xx

Jest

Feels good :)

Until next time.
xx

Irritation

How am I supposed to see your reasoning if you won't see mine? Where is the justification in that? I'm trying so hard, I really am; but you're making this such an impossible task to accomplish - I feel like purposely becoming a disappointment to you just so I can bear your stupidity.

Until then.
xx

Heightening habits

Just imagine, you're in a room with no memory of how you got there. No matter how many times you blink, your eyes aren't able to adjust to the pitch blackness that seems to engulf you. Your hands are dry and numb from the damp coldness that surrounds you and you feel your way around the dark. Your fingers trace the rough edges of brick upon brick and it hits you that there are just four stone walls around you. If fear and panic didn't exist, what other emotion would dominate your very being?

Until next time.
xx

Grand Entrance

Fusion of Minds

It's within the details that an individual can make out the whole. You only need to open your eyes and the ability to distinguish those tiny particles becomes so clear, you'll see matter itself. Sometimes, there are those people who avoid the effort and only see the wider picture. It is then they lose sense of what they were initially doing, losing a little sense in themselves. Sometimes everyone needs a reminder that everything isn't always in shades of black and white.

Until then.
xx

Elusive

Catch me if you can :)

Until next time.
xx

Debonair

©James Jean

Critical control

Cravings are a bitch to avoid. You'd think 'just once more' would satisfy you, kinda like a closure, but when you get that taste on your tongue, the adrenalin starts rushing through your veins and you're not even aware that it's already mindfucking you, making it harder to resist; making it that much more addictive.

Until then.
xx

Belligerent

The soles of her feet prod lightly against the pavement as she picks up her pace, sweat glistens from her forehead, her neck and her chest and her hair unravels itself slowly from her hairtie. The wind is strong and in her favour, the sun keeps her radiating in all her glory. Paths weave ahead of her, houses blur past. The speed of light approaches her, envelopes her, becomes her.

Until next time.
xx

Antagonist

It's hard to look at such a cute thing and think of something like the phrase 'fucking like rabbits'

Until then.
xx

Zesty Life

Times come and go and sometimes we're so absorbed in our lives to even realise how much time we actually still have left. I've personally noticed that at first, it was hard to 'cherish' every moment of my life, but recently I've learnt to pay a larger quantity of detail in regards to every aspect of this life of mine. You distinguish the difference between running your life and being a part of it. I got to admit, being a part of it and allowing the course to run in front of you is always the easier way.

Until next time.
xx

Yep

It is sunny, and I do feel a tad tipsy at the moment, but I am not drunk as Mr. Lactose claims.

Until then.
xx

XXX

Why are people so stupid? I don't believe love would make you THAT idiotic. Fucks sake.

Until next time.
xx

Wish Upon A Star

Nowadays I find myself wistful about many things. My life, my future, my approach to life. Although many people claim that they are just playing their part of life, I wonder if people ever just sit still and acknowledge that they're not only just a part of life, but that life is nothing without them. It's like a massive chess board. Without even one pawn, the whole game loses all meaning. If I can pinpoint my task to life right now, it's to make others live it. After all, what is life without living?

Until then.
xx

Vivid Life

It's an interesting concept when the uninviting become the uninvited. Just throwing it out there.

Until next time.
xx

United

I'm going to save up for a tattoo. It will be inked around my ankle, almost like an ankle bracelet. I'm going to have a little feather placed close by to it. Not a plume, but those little fluffy baby feathers.

'Gib mir kraft zum fleigen'

It's german :)

Until then.
xx

True Beauty

I really tend to wonder why some individuals proceed to do things that they know will inflict more harm than good. Is it out of impulse? Revenge? Anger? Or just pure unawareness of the consequences? As an observer, you see the results of their actions before it actually happens. It's like as if it purposely plays in slow motion just so you can identify every single detail that happens.

What really sucks is... you can't really do anything to stop it. you just gotta let it happen. Que sera sera.

Then again, when it does happen, when the damage is done and you witness a little bit of that person die inside, you can't help but cringe and feel the utmost amount of guilt welling up inside you. I always procrastinate and wonder why, between good and bad; people always go for the latter.

Until next time.
xx

Satisfaction

Been craving a lot recently. Not a good habit :(

Until then.
xx

Respect

I never thought that this would ever happen, but you've lost mine buddy.

Until next time.
xx