Nishe

I was cleaning and sorting through all my old books and papers when I found this little message. I honestly don't remember writing it let alone thinking it but I'll put it up here for memory's sake.

Death is of no concern. Eternal sleep is easy to learn. Why then, is temporary sleep so hard when temporary friendships are so easy to come by?

Until next time.
xx

Marching Band of Manhattans

He stands tall besides the lamp post with only his silhouette as company. Small, stray ashes fall from the glow of his cigarette as he sucks in, savouring the aphrodisiac that fills his lungs. He looks up and blows the cloud of smoke into the crisp night air. A soft breeze greets him back, licking at the beads of sweat that lie upon his brow. He looks down at the lifeless form and observes the small trickle of blood that flows and forms the puddle of liquid red by his feet. He crouches down to pull out the blade peeking from the wound, then grabs the packet that lies hidden inside the victim's jacket. He pulls out another cigarette from the box and returns the packet back where it came from, then moves down to the trousers and rummages through the pockets to find the lighter.

As he walks away with a newly lit stick protruding from his lips, he turns around and glances back at the corpse.

Cheers mate.

Until then.
xx

Lovers in Japan

A warm night is like a warm hug from a stranger. Why do you need to see all in order to feel all? When one lets oneself loose, even for a small moment, magic can happen. If we all thought positive thoughts, perhaps there is a chance that we are able to eradicate all the negativity in this world. However, that brings us to the balance of things. With good, comes bad. Without any negativity, what would be considered positive? There is also that problem where an issue may be deemed as positive to one party but negative to another. Like I mentioned earlier. A warm night is like a warm hug from a stranger. The night is full of the unknown and there is a combination of good and bad strangers out there. What is positive and what is negative? Only we, ourselves can decide.

Until next time.
xx

Knights of Cydonia

So yesterday I went for a run around my area. It was beautiful Melbourne weather for once and I was feeling pumped with music in my ears and a light cool breeze against my face. Feeling a bit adventurous, I ran around parts of my area that I'd never actually been to and discovered a footy park that I've never noticed before in all my 10 years of residing here. I saw a mob of guys, all bigger and taller than me preparing for a game. I kept looking straight and continued my jog, because it was impolite to stare :). When I reached what seemed to be the back of the park, I dared myself to look back at the guys.

Well, I didn't see all the guys because there was a guy who, let's say, stood out. He seemed about my age and with his shorts halfway down his ankles while...watering the plants, he was indeed quite a sight :D . He looked up and noticed me, strained to pull up his shorts and tripped in the process. To avoid any more awkwardness, I continued running until I was well far away from him.

Heh... Trust me, the amount of people who saw a girl running and laughing after that probably thought she was some lunatic :P

Until then.
xx

Just Like in the Movies

Bloody fluorescent lights. Why are they so bright? Why am I here? Why is everything so white? Okay, I gotta sit up because the stupid lights are burning my eyes.

Holy shit, where am I? What is this place? What the hell is this weird apron thingy doing on my body? Where are my real clothes? Okay, think, where was I last?

I...I can't remember.

DOOR! I need to escape. Where is a door? Nothing. It's just four walls. I don't like this; not one bit at all. Fuck, my head's throbbing like crazy. Stupid brain cells, stop partying up there. We've got to work through this together. What's this? There's a tag on my arm.

Experiment #1.004.69

Heh, I like the last two digits. No, no time to be immature. Think... I'm an experiment?? For what? Why, out of everyone else, did they pick me?

*Clink*

Oh wow, the wall in front of me is opening. Great! Someone's here!

...

This isn't right. This can't be right. You're...me. Why do you look like me? Who the fuck are you?! Why are you in my clothes?? Don't smile at me you stupid bitch, give me back my clothes. My face! That's not your property! Why...why can't I talk? Right, try screaming...now. Nothing? Where is my voice?

'She's awake, calm her down again.'

That's my voice! What on earth is happening around here? I demand an explanation! Do you hear me?

...Can't you hear me?

Okay, dude. I don't know where you came from, but back off. That syringe is not going anywhere near me. Seriously, fuck off. Argh, Jesus Christ, you didn't have to tackle me down. This stuff is strong. I'm feeling lethargic already.

There's a mirror in the bottom corner. How come I didn't notice it before? Someone, or something is staring at me. They literally have no skin; it's all just a vision of blood and veins. What is it? What are you? Wait, you're imitating me. Is that me now? Yes, yes it is.

That thing in the mirror...is me.

A dream I had last night. Apologies for the informal language. I wrote it as how I remembered it.

Until next time.
xx

If Everyone Cared

A little boy walks alone. His fingers lazily caress the wooden fence as he strides past. He feels so complete, although he is alone. He sits himself down onto the soft white sand and small granules sneak into his socks and shoes. He peels them off and shakes the little particles away. The salty breeze of the ocean releases him; sets him free. He lies on his back with his eyes closed and embraces the moment. Clouds begin to form above him and small droplets fall from the heavens. They land gently onto his cheeks like little kisses and he beams. Joy runs like an aphrodisiac deeply through his veins.
It is indeed a beautiful sight, this scene.

Until then.
xx

Hoppipola

What is the actual definition of 'belonging'? Usually, for you to feel like you belong, you first make a friend who has mutual interests with you and the sense of belonging comes soon afterwards. My family and I are of the same blood, yet there is no sense of belonging around them. Though my friends are belonging, it's hard for them to belong to me at times. Damn, I don't think I'm even making sense. I'm just curious. What is belonging?

Until next time.
xx

Goodnight Goodnight

The value of friendship is truly underestimated most of the time. It proves that we take things for granted so easily without even realising it. When the time comes though, and people leave, you feel at your most weakest point. There is a feeling of loss and a sense of delusion to the point that you seem to blame others, or even worse, yourself over stupid little things that never have bothered you in the past. It's blaming the present that links to the past. But if you keep living in the past, how can you foresee the future? It may be a fact, after all, that friendship will mould your future.

Until then.
xx

Falling Away With You

On her little boat she sways to the beat of the seas. Little koi fish glide below her, their scales glittering through the dark waters. She dips her fingers in the cool liquid and savours the serenity around her. Beside her, a man with a cloak rows on. They do not talk. They don't need to. Within this silence is communication. Upon these waters, there is understanding.

Until next time.
xx

Every Me & Every You

The rains scatter across the pavements claiming a spot of their own. Hundreds of beings scurry about, trying to refrain from getting themselves drenched. It's quite impossible though, Mother Nature has intended this after all.

Until then.
xx

Desert of Song

Ahh spring. How I adore it. This will be the final week of schooling for me. I graduate on the 19th of October. For those unaware, my school hosts breakfast. It's their innocent version of muck up day. Speaking of muck up day, I've got my outfit:D I'm so excited. There are some modifications that need to be made first, but I shall get them done...hopefully. I shall write up a proper blog soon, but for now, this shall hopefully suffice.

ps- I've decided I need to make new friends.:D

Until next time.
xx

Chop Suey

I believe

that justice does not exist

that fairy bread is the best childhood food

that the birth of a child is a miracle

that heaven was made into a universal goal

that blue is the best colour invented

that with laughter, comes pain

that the thing the sun and moon have in common is that they shine

that adults become too occupied and forget the basic things in life

that children are naive indeed, but for a reason

that those who are misunderstood become insecure

that love is a mysterious thing

that everyone has talent

that whoever thinks looks are everything should be shot

that it's okay to be average

that it's even better to be weird:)

Until then.
xx

Build A Bridge

You know what I hate? The fact that I can always remember the useless things and never the necessary things. Damn brain, why do you have to be as stubborn as I am?

Until next time.
xx

Assassin

To wonder leads to imagination.
Imagination links to curiosity.
Curiosity opens doors.
Doors reveal answers.
Answers allow you to know.
Knowing, however, eliminates wondering.

I wonder indeed, if there are things out there that we should never know about.

Until then.
xx

Zaffre

Just to let you know, the folio that was doing my head in? I got an A+ for that:D

Time is a constant reminder as to how limited our lives really are. If we all were immortal, there would not be as many goals being achieved, the world would heave under the expanding population, life itself will seem tiring. Maybe we all are supposed to use this time wisely. How so? I cannot tell in all honesty. It is in my belief that time is strongly linked to the meaning of life. My exams are coming up. I have to sit the stupid trial exams tomorrow, Thursday and Friday. To me, they seem like a waste of time. To teachers, they deem it as a 'learning experience'. So I ask again, is time really meant to be used wisely? And if it is, what IS the wise way of using such a powerful element of life.

Until next time.
xx

Yellow

Deary me.
I was going home from the city and head towards the station. I notice that since it is still early during the day, the majority of the escalators are riding up. However, my destination is down so I look around for any path heading down. There in front of me, a couple of people start walking downstairs. Good idea, I'll just walk downstairs as well then.
And so, little miss intrigued starts heading down the stairs. As she descends, an old man behind her calls out.

'Lady!'

She takes no notice of it, for there are many ladies around the city. Especially so early in the morning and so she takes another step downwards.

'LADY!'

She turns to see what the commotion is about and the old man smiles kindly at her.

What does the old man say to me?

'You're heading down the men's toilets, miss.'

Sure enough, right above me is the universal sign of a male and a toilet beside him. Accompanying them is an arrow pointing downwards.

Oh...right.

Until then.
xx

Xanthic

A little girl sat alone in the middle of the park in the sun. She holds a worn teddy bear close to her. Her mouth moves as she mumbles into the teddy's frayed ear. She tells him stories, fills him with her hope, reveals her deepest and darkest thoughts. A lady approaches and beckons the girl towards her. The little girl only briefly looks up, then continues whispering. The lady is annoyed and so holds onto the little girl's hand and starts pulling her away from her sanctuary. The bear is dropped and the girl yanks her hand away from the lady. She picks up the bear, dusts its body and apologises to the bear. The lady sighs and offers her hand once again. The little girl stares at the hand and walks ahead, with her bear in her arms.

Until next time.
xx

White

Yes yes, I may have cheated a bit because white is known more as a shade rather than a colour...but shades should be able to get their own say, no?

A couple consists of a duo. A duo consists of two. Do the two always have to balance out? Do the two have to match in order to 'match'? There are pairs that create perfection. There are pairs that bring out the worst in each other. Although they are still happy, is it healthy for the relationship? Not only to them, but for all those around them? A person's love may turn into another's hate. Two contrasting things. Does that make the balance? After all; with night, comes day. With hot, comes cold. Do the terms 'right' and 'wrong' become included in this situation as well? A person may change over the influence of another. Individually, they may be harmless. Friendly. Bearable. Together, they may double up in those qualities, or become absolutely chaotic. It is with chaos, that things begin to fall.

'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down.
London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.'

So tell me. Is it because the person who created this little famous nursery rhyme met a woman that caused chaos to strike London bridge? One can only wonder at such a thought.

Until then.
xx

Vermilion

What I witness, what I hide, what I yearn.

the ice from a snowflake that has escaped from the heavens slowly melting on my tongue

the gentle waft of sugar and butter melting while a cake is in the oven

cleaning off the grease on a paper as I wipe my fingers from the crispy fish and accompanied chips

the snap, crackle and pop of rice bubbles

the warm, loving hug from a parent

the reassurance from a source stating all will be okay

the gentle beat of the heart thumping close to my ear as i lie on someone's chest

the sound of multiple voices all talking and laughing at once

the silky feel of sand between my toes

the feeling of eternity while running on a long deserted stretch of road

the ability to be motivated at whatever I do

the softness of a mattress, willing me to sleep

the tears of the innocent, fallen for the damned

Until next time.
xx

Ultramarine

It's been a while, yet time flies so fast that it doesn't seem so long ago.

If only I had the ability to enter a place where time didn't exist. I could stay there for hours and not even a millisecond would pass in the real world. All I would have to do is close my eyes and will for that door. When I open my eyes, a welcoming place, somewhere I love, will beckon me to enter. If only I had that ability now, I would go to my own private beach. The pure white sand will be my soft mattress. Small, warm waves will gently lap at my toes. The golden rays of the sun will embrace me in it's warmth. The light fragrance of fish and chips will waft slowly and lazily through the air. There, nothing will matter. I will have all the time in the world.

If only.

Until then.
xx

Turquoise

The word:)

It seems the world was crafted to compliment the human behaviour. The rising sun for new beginnings, the tall trees in the forest for the proud, the heavy boulders for the stubborn, the sweet smell of summer for the innocent, clouds for the high, waterfalls for the falling. We underestimate what is around us, and continuously live life through confusion and perhaps even conformity. It must be understood that we, as humans, can change or modify ourselves for life to be better. However, too much change could hinder your original purpose. It is about understanding the balance of change and caring about yourself that enables you to care for others freely. So look deep inside. If you are the sun, is it time for you to rise? Flowers cannot grow without sunlight. When you shine others will shine. As long as that purpose you decide to shine for is worth it.

However, maybe there is too much change. A boulder may be stubborn, but perhaps it enjoys it's place. Many homes for wildlife are found beneath boulders. Perhaps it is how you are you that allows life to flow just a tad more fluently. Change may sometimes distract you from seeing this.

Just remember that you, are the only judge that could determine that.

Until next time.
xx

Sepia

Next week will be the final week of actual schooling for me. After that, it's preparations for exams. I am...insanely calm. Is that normal? My grades aren't that high, they're average I guess. Well, let's hope the calm stays with me until the end of this ride.

Onto a new topic. Old flames. I have quite a few. Most I'm still on very good terms with and a few, not as much. One old flame in particular has sprung up. We never actually were a couple, but we were much more closer than friends. We're still good friends and he has a girlfriend which I'm happy for. Fact. However, he says he misses me and that he needs me. 'Though I love my girlfriend, you're so special to me'.

Really.

Why does he do that? Why do guys do that? Just because I refused being his girlfriend in the past, what makes him think that I would want him now?? Especially that he's actually with someone as well. He was actually willing to leave her if I accepted. Sigh, I know that some boundaries are supposed to be placed but I really wish that I didn't even need to consider boundaries in the first place. We are all human anyway.

Okay, I'm done with my little vent. Apologies. I'll post up a proper entry when I get the time. Time seems so limited nowadays.

Until then.
xx

Ruby

Smiles are the light that make the world shine. They mean so much yet you only need to do so little. Imagine if everyone in the world smiled. Confidences would boost, moods lifted and anxiety lowered. Imagine walking into an interview and seeing your future boss smiling. Would that not put you at ease?

But... it'd be weird if everyone smiled at your funeral, or if they just found out their loved ones are going to die.

Smiling is a beautiful thing to do...but it does become oh so tiring.

Until next time.
xx

Quencienta

Quote from sources- "Quencienta is a pale shade of indigo, used commonly by plastic manufacturers."

Song I am listening to on loop - "A Song for our Fathers" by Explosions in the Sky

Is it possible for a song to contain medicinal properties? I am feeling calm and at ease. Like a flat piece of wood drifting slowly down a creek, a silent and calming journey. I can feel the kisses little droplets of water give me, the warm hug from the sun. Night time falls upon me and the little stars come out to play, winking at me one by one. A distant gush is heard in the distance and I close my eyes as the waters guide me down their fall. Parts of me break off due to the sharp rocks underneath, but as segments of myself float away, it is okay, for now I am able to explore more parts of the world at the same time.

Until then.
xx

Purple

A little cloud of smoke rises slowly through the little vents, grasping hold on the fresh air it meets as it rises out of my printer.

Yes...thus then in brief, my printer just kind of blew up.

Until next time.
xx

Olive

It's been a while, hasn't it? Dear blog, I apologise for not giving you as much attention recently, for the folio is driving my head in. Not to worry! I shall lavish my love for you right now.

I shall share an embarrassing tale then, yes? It all started yesterday when I went to grab a refreshment at a friend's party. His party was held in his aunty's home, and his aunty has a few things dangling around the room we were in. Now, his aunty is I think 19? 20? Just a bit older than us. A couple of her friends came over as well and they weren't that bad looking:P

So there I was, grabbing a drink for myself [apple juice if you're wondering] and one of her friends were around. Due to party scenery, we both acknowledged each other and gave each other polite smiles. I finish grabbing my drink and turn to head back to a couple of my friends when, would you believe it, I walk straight into a bird cage that was dangling from the ceiling. Not only was a red mark forming in the middle of my forehead but my cheeks were getting redder and redder by the moment. I looked at the guy who was there and he was stifling a laugh. Not knowing what to do, I made eye contact with him and said 'You never saw that', in which he replied with upfront laughter.

Smooth right?

Until then.
xx