Honeydew

i hate i hate i hate how my parents think they're superior just because i'm younger than them. i hate i hate i hate how they think they're always right, even though there's evidence to prove them wrong. i hate i hate i hate how they expect so much from me, the expectations seem to go on forever. i hate i hate i hate how they always control me, or always think they have control over me. i hate i hate i hate how they see me as future income, rather than their daughter. i hate i hate i hate how harsh and honest their words are; how raw they can cut me and they dont even have to try. i hate i hate i hate how they always yell but never listen. i hate i hate i hate how when i reply they always tell me off for talking back to them and when i dont reply they tell me off for ignoring them. i hate i hate i hate how every time i try to do something for them they brush it aside. i hate i hate i hate how much i hate them...

how i can never love them the way i'd want to.

i hate i hate i hate how one moment i feel like everything may actually be okay, then the world seems to go against you. i hate i hate i hate the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of being rejected, the feeling of being forgotten. i hate i hate i hate how i depend so much on so many things and then realise i could never ever take anything for granted. i hate i hate i hate how hate is such a short ugly word, how it could bring so much harm to the world. the amount of chaos it causes. the hurt and pain it stabs into your system like quick lasting injections.

Until then.
xx