Dove

What is this? Why are parents so confusing? This hasn't been the first time it has happened but goodness ME! It confuses me when it happens. My parents, especially my mum, has flipped. Like a fucking coin. One moment she'd be biting your head off, then the next moment she'd be wagging her tail in happiness around you. What the hell. I've witnessed and heard of mixed feelings but this is just baffling.

Earlier today she would have stabbed me continuously had she been given the chance and just before, during dinner, she was treating me like I was her long lost daughter whom she had loved all her life. It was like as if she had amnesia and was unable to recall what had happened before.

Really. If that was her way of apologising I don't like it. Her sudden change of behaviour just made me want to dislike her more. If I allowed myself to let go and embrace the affections she offered then I would just be making myself much more vulnerable to become even more emotionally damaged when she flips once again. It feels like I always have to keep my guard up. How I hate the feeling of needing to take precautions wherever I am.

I genuinely dislike those type of people. The type who hurt others, know their wrongdoings but never directly fix the problems. They just use kindness and naiveness to avoid the fact that they have issues themselves. It's like sweeping dust under a huge rug. The dust is still within the premises! It doesn't change a single thing for Christ's sake. Well, at least it doesn't in my case.

Until next time.
xx